The Tumultuously Ghetto Adventures of Ratchety Ann and Andy
by quigglestein
Summary: Ratchety Ann and Andy are on the lam in this tumultuous and (very nearly) politically incorrect parody of the original Raggedy Ann and Andy series by Johnny Gruelle. Follow the rather unlucky siblings as they evade the playroom police and the monsters withing themselves in this rather odd re-thinking of these classic characters.
1. Chapter 1: The Dollhunt Begins

"Get up rigga," Ratchety ann whispered into her brother's ear. "We need ta go cause dat muthastuffin snitch, Alonquin, told da fuzz dat we'se torched his place and cut his flippas off. Dey comin fa us, so MOVE IT!" Ratchety Ann shouted, making Ratchety Andy bolt upright, and flailing his arms out wide, brandishing his switchblade.

"Da fur," he muttered, shaking his doorag out while gathering his possessions (i.e crayons, paper, cyanide capsules, brass knuckles, doorags, etc.) and placing them into his backpack. Zipping it up, Ratchety Andy yawned. "I still don't undastand why ya had ta "teach 'im a lesson" when all he did was ask ya ta marry 'im," he thought aloud as Ratchety Ann grabbed every important item in their meager apartment.

"Cause he jus wanted me ta settle down an be 'is lil' maid, dats why," Ratchety Ann explained vehemently.

"Is that as bad as ya think," Ratchety Andy said peering theough the blinds and out into the street, checking for the police.

"Ye," Ratchety Ann replied, zipping up her backpack and grabbing her loaded gun," now let's git for da ramn cops git hurr." Ratchety Ann slid up the back window that opened up onto the fore escape of the apartment complex, and crawled out, holding up the window for Andy as he crawled out. Hearing sirens in the distance, Ratchety Ann jumped off the fire escape. Landing in a pile of garbage, she looked up. "JUMP FOO!" She shouted to her brother who anxiously looked around him before leaping off of the fire escape. Ratchety Ann and Andy clawed desperately through the garbage as they fled the apartment just as law enforcement reached the curb in front of the building. Peering around the edge of the building from the back alley, Ratchety Andy spotted the SWAT teams and officers approaching the building on all sides. Turning around sharply he whispered to Ratchety Ann, "run fa ya liyfe." Ratchety Ann followed his command and the two ran away as officers came around to the back alley where they just were. Snickering as she ran, Ratchety Ann fired two shots into the air, and jumped into the creek that ran behind the neighborhood, separating it from the warehouse district where she, and her brother, Ratchety Andy, would stay until everything blew over. Or so she thought until night came, and her yarn rows were already coming out. "Looks like we gotta visit Camella, cause ma weave is comin out!" Ratchety Ann exclaimed to Ratchety Andy around their hobo fire in the derelict toffee factory that night.

"Ye, well lets jus do it tamarra, cos I am not willin ta run inta Free Willie an' his gang dis late at night," Ratchety Andy replied, unknowing that tomorrow he and his sister would not only be wanted for torture and arson, but cold-stuffing murder as well. Thus, Ratchety Ann's actions and Ratchety Andy's un-assertiveness led to them ending up in the one place they never thought they would end up at; Camella's Hurr Salon (yes, it it definitely called Camella's HURR Salon) with a dead body and a warrant for their arrests. It was a tumultuous beginning to the sibling's tumultuously ghetto adventures, a journey they would never forget.


	2. Chapter 2: Yarnrows

"Yo brutha," Ratchety Ann said, poking her brother making him stir a bit. "We need ta get ta Camella's Hurr Salon so she can fit me in fo she officially opens, cause ma yarn rows be yella ratchet and I gots ta git in fo dem ramn cops find us on da street."

"What da fur yo ratchet jass got me up so you can get yo hurr did?!" Ratchety Andy screeched punching his sister in the face as he woke up. "I should cut choo fa gittin me up dis urrly! Da fur!"

"Calm yo jass!" Ratchety Ann replied, backhanding him, "we need ta go... NOW!"

"God RAMMIT WOMAN!" Ratchety Andy screeched, untying his doo-rag, and brushing his yarn-fro out before putting his doo-rag back on. "Ya need da shut da fur up! we're goin!" he yelled (louder this time), and cuffing his sister in the ear before opening up the toffee warehouse's door and slamming it shut behind him. Opening the door and running after him, Ratchety Ann left the warehouse, and the two mis-matched (and yet close), siblings walked to Camella's Hurr Salon.

"MMMM GURRLLLL, YO WEAVE IS RATCHET AS YELL!" Camella the Camel exclaimed, undoing Ratchety Ann's yarn rows.

"GURRRLLL DONT I KNOW IT!" Ratchey Ann replied, dancing a little, though there was no music playing in the hair salon just the distant vibrating of Free Willie's gang members' hydraulic cars with rap music from Doop Snogg blowing out their speakers at incredibly loud volumes. While Camella re-did Ratchety Ann's yarn rows, Ratchety Andy drew himself killing someone to amuse himself as Ratchety Ann got her hair done. Just then, Ratchety Ann's former flame (and still the apple of her eye), Tyrone, walked into the hair salon.

"WASSUP MUTHASTUFFAS!" Tyrone yelled, startling Ratchety Ann(something that is really hard to do).

"Nothin much ya big foo!" Camella squealed delightedly, hugging Tyrone ,and turning to Ratchety Ann who was frozen in fear and utterly speechless. Why was she,the fearless, crazy, and utterly boisterous Ratchety Ann, frozen? Well, Ratchety Ann was his girlfriend at one point, but on a whim, she broke up with him and never forgave herself for it. To Ratchety Ann, Camella's full frontal hug was a threat to her womanhood, and she had to be stopped. But how? Ratchety Ann came up with an answer, and it pleased her to no end.

"GUURRRRLLLL YO WEAVE NASTY AS YELL!" Camella shouted, winking at Tyrone, making it look like she was stating that to him to make Ratchety Ann look bad. This was enough for Ratchety ann to have motive for her plan,to kill Camella. Ratchety Ann's first thoughts always led to murder, and this said something about her sanity; she had none. Ratchety Ann smiled, and waited until Camella had finished redoing her yarn rows.

"Gurl, I'm hungree! Let's go git some breakfast real quick," Ratchety Ann said, smiling, though secretly wishing she could kill Camella right then and there (though that would scare Tyrone off for good).

"Shore gurl. Lata Tyrone!" Camella said, waving to Tyrone, while Ratchety ann signaled for Ratchety Andy to come follow them.

"Gurl, I know this real good place, lemme just blindfold ya so it's a sahprise!" Ratchety Ann said sweetly, grabbing Ratchety Andy's doo-rag off his head and blindfolding Camella. Leading her to the toffee factory, Ratchety Ann set her down in a chair, and pulled out her gun, laughing maniacally the entire time. Un-blindfolding her, Ratchety ann grinned menacingly. Then motioned for Ratchety andy to come and chain Camella like a dog to the wall. Camella freaked out, screaming, but was silenced by Ratchety Ann slapping her, and shoving the gun next to her temple.

"Ratchety Ann..wha-w-what's gotttin inta ye-"

"YOU MOTHASTUFFA!" Ratchety Ann yelled, interrupting Camella's question,and holding the gun against Camella the Camel's furry temple a bit rougher,her hand poised just so on her rather ratchet gold hoop earring as if she were to yank it out. "YOU SHOULD'NA SAID DAT BOUT MA WEAVE!" Ratchety Ann screamed, making Camella wince as the gun dug into her temple. "I wuz jus tryin ta show Tyrone that you wuz a fake," Camella said defiantly, but cringing in pain at the same time because her hoop earring was beginning to tear out of her earlobe. "SHOULDA THOUGHT I WUZ GONNA PUT A CAP IN YO JASS!" Ratchety Ann screeched as she yanked out Camella's earring and backing up quickly, though her gun still aimed at Camella's head. "Please no, I have a fah-mah-lee! I has keyds! I has a.. steady boyfriend, an fo once it's a stable one," Camella pleaded. "Stable ya say? Huh," Ratchety Ann said, with subtle sarcasm, but Camella was stupid, so she didn't pick up on it."I'll tell him that when I see him in YELL," Ratchety Ann said finally after a few minutes of mock contemplation(Camella still being too stupid to realize the sarcasm the whole time). Camella finally caught the sarcasm,but only as Ratchety Ann pulled the trigger. Camella fell to the floor,though not quite dead. Grinning, Ratchety Ann stood over her helpless body and laughed manically. "Ya stupid doe! Dat's what choo get fa talkin crap bout ma weave!" Rathety Ann exclaimed, spitting on her, and simultaneously pulling the trigger again, ending Camella's life, and whatever she may have had with that "stable" boyfriend of her's. Turning to Ratchety Andy, who was coloring a picture of Ratchety Ann shooting Camella down, she grinned, her teeth glistening white as she twirled Camella's earring around her finger intending to claim it as a trophy. "Ready ta go Rigga?" she said, licking blood off her dress, "We need ta get lost fo' da Playroom Police find us hurr." "Ye," Ratchety Andy grunted, putting his crayons away. "Lets get outta here, I gotta go uhm... pay Larry da Clown a visit."


	3. Chapter 3: Ambushed(Again)

"Yo LARRY!" Ratchety Andy called out, startling the clown a bit. "Ya got ma crayck?! I need dat shrit! Like now foo!"

"Calm yo jass!" Larry the Clown hissed at Ratchety Andy, pulling him into a nearby alley and opening his trenchcoat up to reveal the rows and rows of illegal drugs. "Ya gotta keep yo voice down cause da cops are still searchin da area, fa yew an yo sista, so ya need ta git yo shrit, and get da stuck outta here."

"Ohnkay," Ratchety Andy said, pulling out a wad of cash, and recieving two bags of drugs from the clown, who looked around nervously the whole time as if expecting someone to jump out of the shadows and attack him. "Yo bruh," Ratchety Andy said, wheeling around after inspecting the drugs. "Why you cheatin me, mayne? I pay ya twenny and ya gimme less than an ounce of each?! Mayne you be cheatin me!" Frustrated, Ratchety Andy pulled out his switchblade and advanced toward Larry who looked smug.

"Da market isn't doin well, and now I have ta charge mo fo less, cause it's riggas like yew who keep me in business when my otha customas go ta jail," Larry explained, but nevertheless motioned to someone in the shadows, who grabbed Ratchety Andy, knocking his switchblade out of his hands.

"RIGGA WHAT DA FUR DO YA THINK YA IS DOIN?!" Ratchety Andy screeched, as Larry picked up his switchblade, and held it against his throat.

"I'm done with yo shrit, cause all ya do is complain about how little I'm giving ya fo how much yew is payin me when its stuffin hard ta get da god ramn stuffs cause da police are everywhere now thanks ta yew! Now, hold still rigga while I slit yo throat so I can back ta bidness unintaruppted. I bet da cops will be glad dat yo jass got kilt so dey dont hafta do it." Larry the Clown said maniacally, pressing the the blade a little more forcefully on his throat, sliding it lightly, causing a few dribbles of stuffing to bleed out.

"'ey rigga, please jus lemme go, an I will jus leave…" Ratchety Andy pleaded, as Larry begin to slice a little hard than before, paining Ratchety Andy, making a little more stuffing to fall out from his neck. Just then, a gun was heard being cocked, and aimed.

"Get yo jass da fur away from ma brutha fo I shoot yo jass masef, and kill bof you," Ratchety

Ann said menacingly.

"Well looky hurr," Larry said, taking the blade off of Ratchety Andy's throat, and stalking behind the unknown assailant holding Ratchety Andy. "Is dis yo sista?"

Turning Ratchety Andy around to face where Larry and Ratchety Ann were, Andy nearly screamed. "uhm..yus, its ma sista, an yo jass is foo fa messin wit me cause she be dangerous."

"Naw, she ain't she perfectly harmless, yo jass seriously has undaestimated me and Billy da Gorilla now gurl, jus wait a stuffin minute while I take care yo brutha, den you an me cna face off…"

"SHUT YO JASS UP LURRY!" Ratchety Ann screeched, shooting him inbetween the eyes suddenly. Larry gaped at her as his eyes rolled into the back of his head, and stuffing trickled out of the bullet hole. Letting Larry's body fall to the ground, Ratchety ann turned to Billy, and cocked the gun again. "Put ma brutha down or I'll put a bullert through yo head too," she said calmly, and smilingly scarily, and blood that had spattered on her face ran down it. Billy being smart put Ratchety andy down slowly, then ran away in fear probably to go tell Free Willie and his gang what just happened in the alleyway.

"Ratchety ann I though I wuz gunna die taday, thank yew," Ratchety Andy said quietly, picking up his switchblade form Larry's dead body.

"Don't mention it, though we need da get da yell outta hurr fo dem ramn cops git hurr," she replied, motioning for him to hurry up. The two ran, and didn't stop running until they reached the toffee factory they were staying in.

"Two ded, and now we're not only wanted fa arson an torture but murda too, da fur did we get ourselves into?" Ratchety Andy muttered as his sister tended to the cuts on his throat.

"I dunno, but we need ta be mo currful befo we get caught, now dis is gon sting a bit, but its gonna keep infection from settin in ya hurr?" Ratchety Ann said, dabbing the cuts with beer because they hadn't had time to get rubbing alcohol whikle they went on a quick shopping run that day. It was next on the list for next time they would venture out but until then, they'd stay in the warehouse, and figure out how to not get caught (though it was going to happen eventually, they just didn't know when or where).


	4. Chapter 4: Dolls Just Wanna Have Fun

Ratchety Ann snored loudly as Ratchety Andy drew her sleeping form to put into his portfolio that he was going to use to apply for art school. Well, let's put some emphasis on _**WAS**_ going to, **BUT** since he'd entered the life of crime he'd been thrust into by his sister and his mental instability he obviously couldn't go unless by some miracle he was cleared of all charges of crimes committed. He used to think he was going to be a family man, but when you're leading a life of crime, nobody is going to let you or want to settle down with you. So until a miracle occurred, Ratchety Andy had to settle for drawing his snoring sister in an abandoned toffee factory being wanted by everyone but not at all for the right reasons. He sat there for hours until slowly but surely, Ratchety Ann woke up.

"Rigga what da yell is yew doin? I wuz sleepin an lawd knows what choo mighta done ta me durin dat time!" She said, covering her arms over herself as if she was shielding herself from some unwanted touch, feeling violated.

"I wuz jus drawin yew sleepin cos yew look interesting an I is runnin outta things ta draw round hurr, 'cept rats and cobwebs, but I done did dat shrit already." Ratchety Andy explained, turning his accurate depiction Ratchety Ann he had just finished drawing around so she could see it. Ratchey Ann stared at it, and then began to cry. "What's wrong wit choo?" Ratchety Andy asked, dropping the picture and his crayons to the floor (breaking a few crayons) in a rush to console his sister.

"I-I-I'm keeping yew from yo callin, an-an it sall ma fault, an-an-an its jus not right! Yew did not done do dis, I just dragged you inta ma cray life, an I done diddle ruin yo's. I done did yew wrong Ratchety Andy, I done did yo jass wrong." She sobbed as Ratchety Andy squeezed shoulders and rocked her quietly, intermittently stroking her yarn-rows try to calm her down.

"Yew done did me right Ratchety Ann," he whispered quietly, "we is jus unda unfortunate circumstances ya know? Cause we jus get inta trubble wit da place we is in, an how we was raised. Yew done did me right by saving my jass when I went outta line, an we both done did us right by stayin tagetha like da blood riggas we is."

"Ratchety Andy, I-I wanna try ta make up fa da wrongs I has done ta yew, so lemme jus set choo up on-on a date wit ma friend tanight coz I done did so many wrongs. I gon call hurr urp, an yew can go ta Rizzi's Pizza an eat dinna up in thurr. Wait right hurr while I go do dat." Ratchety Ann stood up, drying tears on her slightly bloody dress, and left Ratchety Andy to pick up his crayons while she used the payphone on the corner. Noticing he'd broken a couple he sighed. Ratchety Andy was afraid of girls except for his sister, and now he was going on a date. He was so nervous he thought he would kill someone. He was right, he did kill someone.

"Ratchety Andy?" A pretty Carbie doll asked Ratchety Andy who looked up from the menu he was looking at.

"Ye, dat would be me," he said, smiling weakly, standing up and extending his hand to shake hers. "Carrie, right? Ratchety Ann's friend?"

"Yeah, so uhm, let's do this date thing and err, get to know each other a bit." Carrie replied shaking it, and the two sat down at the table. "So Ratchety Andy, what uh, what do you like to do for fun?" Carrie asked nervously, sipping the water the waiter had set down in front of her.

"Well, I like to draw, and write, and read." Ratchety Andy replied, making Carrie smile.

"Me too," she said grinning at him, making him sweat a bit. "I am a huge fan of Rawn Blue, and Rick Trancis, and Trainbow Trowell. What about you?"

"I like all of them, and Reefin Schring, and Blagatha Kristie." He replied, swallowing nervously, but enjoying the date despite his being scared. The two spent from then until closing talking about things they liked and didn't like. Ratchety Andy walked Carrie home, and the two stood on the stoop of her house perhaps about to kiss, but fate would not let that happen and let it just be a kiss. No, something horrible was about to happen, and it would scar Ratchety Andy for the rest of his life.

"Well Ratchety Andy, I must say I was reluctant about coming here, but I enjoyed myself tonight. I had a wonderful time," Carrie said, smiling expectantly. Ratchety Andy was panicking on the inside, but smiled nevertheless. He was going to kiss her, or die trying.

"I did too," he said, stepping in a little closer, picking up her hands and holding them in his. "So maybe next weekend we can do this again?"

"That'd be nice," she said, leaning in and kissing him. Ratchety Andy kissed her back, as she wrapped her arms around his neck, he did the same. Then he heard a crunch, and she went limp. He'd unknowingly broken her neck.

"Carrie? CARRIE?!" he screeched, shaking her limp body, and her head popped off. He dropped her, headless body and ran without stopping all the way to the toffee factory on the outskirts of town. Reaching the factory, he flopped down onto his pallet and cried pitifully. Fate was against our poor misunderstood hero of sorts, and he had just killed what was possibly his soul mate. Ratchety Andy decided then and there, that if he was going to kiss someone, he would not use his hands, nor shake them if they went limp because their heads would pop off. Eventually though, he'd be done right by fate, and he'd find his soul mate and eventually get into art school. Until then, he was unhappy, and utterly...ratchet.


	5. Chapter 5: Tsarbucks Hookup

"Rigga, I ain't got idea why you done did drag my jass out heyah, but show me whateva da yell it is so we can git da stuff out!" Ratchety Ann said nervously, looking over her shoulder every five seconds to see if they were being followed.

"It's jus a few mo' steps, so calm yo jass," Ratchety Andy retorted, rolling his eyes at his sister. "Ohnkay, stahp, and lemme cova yo ramn eyes." He hissed at Ratchety Ann, stopping abruptly.

"Rigga, dis betta be good or I gon be-"

"Hush yo jass! Now one mo step….ohnkay, we hurr." Ratchety Andy said excitedly uncovering Ratchety Ann's eyes as she gasped in amazement.

"It's...it's..BOOTIFUL RIGGA! YOU DONE DID GIT HER IMAGE RIGHT! RAMN, I SHO DO WISH YOU HAIN'T KILLED HER JASS ON ACCIDENT CAUSE SHE SHO WOULDA STUFFED YO JASS TANIGHT! GOD RAMN BOY! IT'S PERF I CAIN'T I CAIN'T!" Ratchety Ann screeched, dropping her blunt and pulling out her gun, shooting in the air.

"Ratchety Ann shut yo mouf an put dat god ramn gun away! I didn't kill her on purpose... it...it was an accident…. besides I had ta git da vision of her fayce outta ma mind…" Ratchety Andy said quietly, as he looked at his mural of Carrie the Carbie Doll on the side of the abandoned toffee factory. Try as he could, he couldn't get the visions of her severed head on her front porch that fateful night as he kissed her goodbye after a successful date. If only he could go back, and chain his arms to his sides so he wouldn't have done that.

"Aw huh, ohnkay, whateva yew say, but don't foget dat choo has a date tanight wit ma friend, Tramantha da Carbie doll… by da way, if she begins flirtin with otha dudes you can jus leave her jass thurr cause she ain't called Tramantha fo' nuthin dat's fo sho," Ratchety ann muttered under her breath still looking at the skillfully spray painted mural before. Pausing her gaping, she looked at her watch and saw that it was about time for Ratchety Andy's date with Tramantha. "Rigga, we got to get choo ready, cause yo jass has got ta be at dat Mugway at seeks or else. Now le'ss git!"

"Ratchety Ann, I dunno if I cain do dis cause of what happened last time. Maybe I should jus wait anotha-"

"Shut yo mouf rigga," Ratchety Ann said, interrupting Ratchety Andy as she roughly dragged him into the Mugway which conveniently, was right next to the Tsarbucks. "Wait fa her hurr, and then afta yew eat go foo 'round somewhere, git yo mind offa Carrie. Lawd only knows yo jass needs it after dat shrit. If yew need me, I will be in da Tsarbucks next door..er... bakin cookies wit Tyrone so jus call me if yew need me, ohnkay?"

"Ohnkay," Ratchety Andy said, sitting down at one of the tables and pulling out his sketchbook and crayons as Ratchety Ann headed outside, leaving Ratchety Andy all alone. At a quarter to seven, Tramantha stumbled into the Mugway, already halfway drunk.

"Hey," she hiccuped, sitting down across from a concerned Ratchety Andy, "sorry I'm late I-hic- had a batch of cookies to take care of if you now what I mean."

"No, No I don-"

"Shh-shh-shh...don't speak, just forget the sandwiches and come with me." Tramantha whispered with her eyes closed, making Ratchety Andy tense up.

"Ohnkay, but if I am gonna do dat then I gotta stop by da Hallgreens if yew is wantin me ta do what I think choo is thinkin," Ratchety Andy replied nervously as the two got up, Tramantha placing his hand on her bum as the two walked out of the Mugway.

"Don't worry 'bout it," she whispered in his ear, "I already have it at my place, hope you don't mind clown figurines."

"Clown figurines, gurl what da stuff?!" Ratchety Andy thought as Tramantha giggled drunkenly and licked his face, trying to untie his doo-rag as they walked down the street. Ratchety Andy was never going to be happy at this rate, thank goodness his previous subconcious actions would kick in and save him from getting stuffidia, a common STD in the Playroom that was passed onto toys who ended up "baking cookies" with Tramantha, though nobody would openly say it; everyone knew where it came from.


	6. Chapter 6: Cookies Are Her Specialty

Ratchety Ann yawned as she walked over to the Tsarbucks on Mackdaddy Avenue. She was tired, but only because Ratchety Andy had kept her up all night with his muffled cries, and his screams as he slept. When she asked him what was causing them Ratchety Andy merely said it was watching Grandpappy Ratchety kill their Gammie in front of him when he was five. Although she feared that was not the entire case, she did not press him further and opted to go get them both coffee promising him a cup if he didn't harm himself. Arriving at the coffee shop, she inhaled slowly, and opened the door into the really unkempt building, stepping over the spit buckets and passed out druggies, she reached the counter where Tyrone was working.

"Man oh man, it's Ratchety Ann," Tyrone greeted her with a smile from behind the counter. "What will it be? A Sho 'nuff Columbian or a Cut Choo Up Mocha?"

"A Shank Yo Jass, an a Rigga Please if yew will," she replied, leaning on her hand, and smiling at Tyrone who smiled back cheekily at her.

"Ohnkay, and will dat be fa hurr or ta gurr?" He drawled as he picked up two cups writing the orders on them, and passing them to his co-worker, Balthasar Bubbles so he can fulfill them while he flirted with Ratchety Ann.

"Ta gurr," she answered, grinning before saying, "or it can be hurr...in da bafroom if ya want."

"Girl, I like da way yew think. Meet me in da fah mah lee restaroom in five minutes when ma shiyft ends."

"Ohnkay, but only if yew get a rerbber fo you get anything up in all ah dis," she retorted while gesturing to herself.

"A Shank yo Jass an a Rigga Please fa..a..Ratchety Ann!" Balthasar Bubbles called, holding up the coffees.

"Yo Bubbles!" Ratchety Ann exclaimed, "think yew can hold 'em 'till Tyrone an I get through with havin our "coffees" hurr?"

"Shore," Bubbles said, placing the coffees underneath the counter, "just rememba ta come an git 'em while you git it."

"Ohnkay Bubbles," Ratchety Ann said smiling as she walked into the family restroom where Tyrone was waiting for her already, "see ya in an hour!"


	7. Chapter 7: Cold Hands Dead Heart

Ratchety Andy stood in Tramantha's kitchen, head in his hands laughing as Tramantha rifled around in the fridge for butter and eggs.

"I dunno what choo thought "baking cookies" meant, but whatever it was, faget it rigga! Yew is not gittin up in all uh dis until the fourth date!" Tramantha said smirking as she handed Ratchety Andy the ingredients.

" I dunno eitha, but this is good," Ratchety Andy replied, setting down the butter and eggs. Picking up the apron Tramantha handed him, tying it in a neat bow as she pulled out a bowl and a spatula, handing the latter to him.

"I hope yew is strong nuff ta mix dese cookies, cause I certainly is not," Tramantha sassed while pre-heating the oven and pulling out baking sheets.

"Shore," Ratchety Andy said flexing his biceps a bit, making Tramantha giggle as she cracked the eggs into the bowl, and measured out the sugar. Stirring the bowl, the mixture thickened as Tramantha added in the other ingredients, creating the dough.

"Ohnkay, well now we jus gotta add in dese ramn choco' chips an dese muthastuffas will be done!" Tramantha exclaimed, popping open the bag of chocolate chips, and feeding a few to Ratchety Andy. "While dey bake, I thought we'se might get ta know each otha a lil' betta, maybe watcha movie or sumthin."

"Sounds good ta me, what choo got in mind? A quilt classic or one uh dem romantic comedies? Cause I'm down wit eitha, so whateva yew wann do gurl, its yo 'partment, yo choice." Ratchety Andy asked, as he folded the chips into the mixture and smiled as Tramantha pulled out the dough scoop, scooping the dough onto the sheets in a business-like manner.

"Yo choice, we got ta make ma choice uh cookies, so go pick one from ma co'lection in da livin room on da wall."

Ratchety Andy breezed into the living room, and began to thumb through the large DVD collection Tramantha had.

"God ramn gurl, how many movies do yew got?!" Ratchety andy exclaimed, as he looked through shelf after shelf of movies, finally deciding on Life of Ri.

"I dunno, but it sho is mo den i probably need!" Tramantha replied cheerfully, coming into the living room and turning on the television to the appropriate channel to access the DVD.

Ratchety Andy sat down on the couch as Tramantha left the room to get them both drinks. Sitting down next to him, and handing him a drink, she hit play and Life of Ri began. Five minutes in however, the timer dinged for the cookies, and Ratchety Andy volunteered to get them form the oven. Opening the oven door, he let the oven's heat engulf him, and for a moment, he was happy. Fate, however, had other plans for Ratchety Andy, and Tramantha came in behind him.

As Ratchety Andy stood up, closing the oven door, Tramantha hugged him from behind, turning him around to face her.

"Kiss me foo," Tramantha whispered, and Ratchety Andy relented, not thinking in the heat of the kitchen and the heat of the moment. He kept his arms down this time, but another and possibly more terrible subconcious action occured. He began to gently push Tramantha towards the sink while still kissing her as he plugged the drain and turned on the water(somehow that was possible). He snaked his arms around her shoulders, and pushed her head-first into the sink, breaking free from the kiss, though involuntarily. Tramantha struggled underneath the surface of the water, but Ratchety Andy continued to hold her under, scared that she might try to kill him if he relented. Tramantha flailed about, but she quickly faded and went limp in his arms.

"God ramnit! I killed another one! What the yell!" Ratchety Andy shrieked, letting go of Tramantha's body and running out of the apartment into the muggy night air. He ran until he couldn't run anymore, ending up at the Toffee factory where he subsequently began another mural, though this time it was of Tramantha. Yet another possible soul mate dead on account of his psycho subconscious, fate just wouldn't let him be happy… that is, until he met Beatrice.


End file.
